I have never served in the military, but I have nothing but the utmost respect for the men and women who defend our country and put themselves in harms way. Given my age, chances are that I will never get the chance to serve my country. If things have gotten so bad that they need to draft me, then the jig is up and we might as well say our goodbyes. There is one particular aspect of war that has intrigued me for some time now. How do you make yourself move and take action when you know there is no hope of surviving?

My father is a veteran of Vietnam and I asked him that very same question. His response seems to be typical of veterans: You don’t want to let your buddies down, so you do your duty. The very next statement is usually: You just have to settle it in your mind that you are going to die, then go out and do your duty. How do you do that? If you get the time, read about some Medal of Honor winners. They almost all share the same story, that against all odds they fought to save their buddies. That is it. So many of the medals are given posthumously that it testifies of the courage it took to act.

What would I do? Would I be brave enough to act without hesitation or would I keep my head down? Would I be able to act like this Marine? Those are thoughts I am told every young man or woman must face before and during fighting. I guess sometimes you will be too scared to move, while other times you will act without even thinking. Again, how do you get yourself to move?

Think of D-Day on Omaha beach. Everyone has seen Saving Private Ryan, so it easy to get a visual. What made those men move? What would I have done? What would you have done? At some point they had to make up their mind that they were going to die anyway, they might as well try to make a difference. What about the man who won the most recent Medal of Honor in Iraq, Sgt. 1st Class Paul Smith? His citation reads in part:

As the fight developed, Sergeant First Class Smith braved hostile enemy fire to personally engage the enemy with hand grenades and anti-tank weapons, and organized the evacuation of three wounded soldiers from an armored personnel carrier struck by a rocket propelled grenade and a 60mm mortar round. Fearing the enemy would overrun their defenses, Sergeant First Class Smith moved under withering enemy fire to man a .50 caliber machine gun mounted on a damaged armored personnel carrier. In total disregard for his own life, he maintained his exposed position in order to engage the attacking enemy force.[emphasis mine] During this action, he was mortally wounded. His courageous actions helped defeat the enemy attack, and resulted in as many as 50 enemy soldiers killed, while allowing the safe withdrawal of numerous wounded soldiers.

The day I asked my dad this question, he told me of the two or three times in his year in Vietnam that he just knew it was all over. What about the other days I asked him? He answered that those handful of days are the ones that he knew he was going to die, the other days, he probably should have felt the same but was too young to realize the extent of the danger he was in. He told me that you just do your duty.

Duty. That is a strange word in today’s world that is lacking any moral absolutes. Duty to what? God and country? Maybe. Duty to the Marine Corps or your unit? Sometimes. Duty to your buddies? All the time. It is said that men under combat situations form a bond that is as strong as a bond between brothers. That is why the effectiveness of a unit is severely eroded when it sustains high casualties. Not just because of having fewer men, but because of the emotional trauma that the men suffer when the see their “brothers” killed. Duty. Much can be written about that word. If we all did our duty in every situation…

One of my favorite movies in years has been Band of Brothers. Well, it is a mini-series more than a movie, but anyway, it is a phenomenal study in the dynamics that take place in a small unit during combat. WunderWife gave it to me for Christmas in 2003 and I have watched it many times. It was while watching this series that I first asked the question of how do you do it. One scene stuck out to me that helped answer this question.

The scene takes place while the unit is still fighting in Normandy. This particular episode focuses on a one particular soldier that is having a hard time doing his duty. On D-Day he fell asleep in a ditch and then the next few days he avoided fighting and when he finally did see combat, he suffered a bout of hysterical blindness. Once he rejoins his unit, he has a chance to talk to his commanding officer where he tells him that he has not been a good soldier. His commanding officer tells him that it is just a game and the trick is to realize that you are already dead. Once you realize that you are already dead, then you can do your duty. Later during the next engagement, the solider is still cowering in his hole when his commanding officer jumps in with him and walks him through the steps of standing, aiming and firing his weapon. It is an intense scene, but at the end of it, the soldier is an effective member of the team.

I guess that is the trick. You have to convince yourself that you are already dead. That seems to be the only way you can function. Give up all thoughts of home, your wife, your kids, of life. But how do you do that? I guess only people who have been under fire can answer that question.

I would hope I could do my duty, but no one knows that answer until the time comes. For me, that time will probably never come, but for thousands of others, it comes daily.

Amazing. You guys amaze me. Keep up the good work and I pray that you will make it back home.